Who in Where?
by epic-adventures-of-SNL
Summary: So I had just seen that new Tim Burton movie, right? Alice in Wonderland, y'know? Sooner or later I found myself in the main setting for the movie. Wonderland. And I am not Alice. Sorta spoof-ish but not in the mean way. maybe oneshot. Maybe HatterxOC
1. Falling through the pot?

AN: i dunno. i got bored. this is sorta a spoof.

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So I had just seen that new Tim Burton movie, right? Alice in Wonderland, y'know. Well, you also should know, that after drinking a large coke and eating a large popcorn at the movies people have to go to the ladies room to go through with the natural process of digestion if you know what I mean. Well there was a line, so I stood there waiting like everyone else, when I saw this gal wearing almost all white look at her watch and tap it.

She _hopped_ into the stall that opened next. The fact she hopped should've made me think a little more clearly about my next desicions. After she went in I heard the toilet flushed and the opened so I walked over and pulled my pants down. Right when I sat down though was when I realized the chick had never realyl left the stall... the door had just opened. I scrunched up my face in confusion as I leaned back, and I fell.

I fell into the toilet... yet... not into the toilet. I fell (with my pants still down) through a huge tunnel. Finally I saw light at the end and I landed in a puddle.

"White Rabbit! Have you brought back Alice?" A strange voice inquired. I looked up after I cleared the mud off my glasses. A rabbit shook his head and said, "No, Tarrant. I have no idea who that is."

"Why doesnt he have a dress on, like he usually does? And why are his trousers on the ground?"

I was still in shock, then I realized he was talking about me, so I stated, "Just to get this out there. This is awkward."

I jumped up and pulled up my jeans. "WTF?!?" I exclaimed. A pale dude looked at me confused and said, "Why are you spouting out letters?"

I gasped as I realized I was talking to the Mad Hatter... and he looked fairly like Johnny Depp. "Holy crap... I'm in Wonderland?!"

Hatter nodded happily. "It must be Alice! She called Underland, WONDERland!!!"

I shook my head and looked up towards the "sky" while thinking, _How did this even happen? I was just sitting on the pot... _

_"Trousers on the ground!_

_Trouser on the ground!_

_Landing in Underland with yo trousers on the ground!!" _Hatter sang happily (which sounded quite familiar... Pants on the Ground, maybe?) as he walked over to me. "Welcome to Underland, dear friend."

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To BE CONTinued!

I dunno. maybeh maybeh not.


	2. Meeting Absolem

Haha… wow. What was that. Like 3 reviews? And like… 5 Faves Stories/Authors. Ya'll… are… FANTABULOUS! This, like the last, is a very short chapter. I just don't have the time… Sorry.

"I assure you, I'm not Alice. My name isn't even close to Alice! It's Lindsey! How did I even get here…?" I blabbered on as the Mad Hatter dragged me towards Absolem.

"Well, even if you're not _the_ Alice, Absolem will tell us if you're going to become Alice or if you're going to become this mysterious Lindsey." The Mad Hatter replied.

I sighed in exasperation. I looked forward and saw a little bit of smoke coming from a butterfly. I rose my eyebrows and muttered, "I thought Absolem was a caterpillar…"

The Hatter gave me a weird look and said, "Its not good to talk to yourself. I hear it's the first sign of being mad."

I rolled my eyes and replied, "I know I'm loony. You don't need to say, 'All the best people are.'"

He looked slightly bitter as I mocked Alice's voice. I stuck my tongue out at him. He scoffed and kept dragging me toward the smoke.

"This imposter has claimed to be _the Alice_!" Hatter exclaimed to the blue butterfly. I rose my eyebrows and said, "I never claimed to be anyone but myself and myself is me who is Lindsey!"

Absolem lazily took a good smoke from his pipe thing and said, "She is not _the _Alice. In fact, she is not Alice at all," He paused taking another smoke. I took the time to tell Hatter, "I told you so." When Absolem started speaking again, "She's not… brave enough. I doubt she has any of this "muchness" you like to describe Alice with."

"Hey! I'm brave! And I sooo have muchness!" I exclaimed. Hatter looked at me with raised eyebrows and shook his head. "Maybe, but still, _Lindsey_," He started saying my name mockingly, "You're not _much enough _to be _the _Alice."

"I understand that. But I also understand that Alice has blonde hair and blue eyes. That she has a British accent. And she thinks you're a dream. I have brown hair and eyes. I have a 'Southen' accent. And I know for a fact that you're not a dream."

Hatter looked at me in confusion and smiled a bit, "I knew I was real… I knew I wasn't a part of a dream…"

I smiled back and turned to walk away from Absolem. "Where to now, Hatter?"

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! I don't care if it's a smiley face or not! I want reviews or I wont update.


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